WAMPOHOLIC

thedailywhat:

Badass Bartender of the Day: Sure, Ukrainian bartender Alexander Shtifanov can put on a show. But how are his people skills?

[devour]

Bar flair intrigues me because the addition of a spout to your juggling clubs manages to open up a whole new realm of possibilities. All those elbow-bumps he gives to the bottles, to add spins— I don’t think that can be done with clubs for whatever reason. If it was possible, I’d hope I would have seen it by now. The slow-mo shot where he launches the drink and swipes all the liquid out of the air is a new one to me.

Some of my tried-and-true techniques:

• launching the liquid into the air and catching it all on my head
• drinking
• accidentally dropping my glass mid-conversation for no reason
• shaky hands
• throwing bottles off of fire escapes
• “ffFuck theshe bottles, yall wanna shee a maj-ick trick?”

The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening “Playaround” TAS

A Youtube comment puts it well: “I actually feel sorry for the game.” It becomes a testament to the programmers that this game can function after such glitch-fueled violation. Link plays a knight like a drum as a laughing alligator leaps from a lake of fire— yeah.. I’m just gonna put it up on a projector for visuals at my next party.

Kid History 6

I watched one of these yesterday and then all of these yesterday— grown men acting out stories told by children. This one is about eating healthy food. The characters have such expressive faces and lip dubbing.

Leslie Knope tries impressions and accents

That tweet completely changes the impact of this video

(Source: wittels)

Watsky, “G.O.A.T. Fast Raps”

okay well I just spent like 15 minutes watching some of his videos and I’m a bunch more impressed. Also now I’m pretty sure he’s older than me, just precocious looking.

Wait shit and he’s a nationally acclaimed slam poet. Uh, sorry Sammy James, I eat my words: you don’t compare at all to George Watsky.

“The Road to Victory” by Sammy James

Here’s more racial media to take in before we have our Louis C.K. discussion. I need everyone on board for this, mostly because it’s funny to imagine other people watching this video.

Nothing against you specifically, Sammy James; I didn’t mean to find your video on Youtube while in the throes of a particularly rough y-hole. You just happen to be part of a group of white teen boys whose parents can afford microphones and camera equipment to set up in the basement. Watsky is basically the same, except he owns himself and he puts even more time (and thought) into his videos.

wondertonic:

What kind of wacky antics does a dog who does stand-up comedy get into? Mostly sitting in an apartment full of self-doubt.

Created with Mikala Bierma.

Look at all the cute little sadness! Maybe this’ll be my life someday soon (I’m planning on having expensive dog-conversion surgery.)

Kate Upton does the Cat Daddy

nothing makes sense anymore

“Girls Season 1: Trailer #2”

As I mentioned before, I got to see the first three episodes of Girls last Friday, and I am really excited for it to get started tomorrow. I expected humor similar to that of the unsaid “behind-the-words” comedy of Bridesmaids, which was new and fun for the big screen but would probably get obnoxious serialized; what I got was a show that’s witty and believable. The jokes are on contemporary feelings and topics, like Sex and the City and self-deprecation. For all the cringe-inducing moments this show has been hyped about, I didn’t find myself wincing much. (Much less than I’d think I would sitting next to a girl I had just met and watching Hannah [Lena Dunham] make sweet, painful, weird love to her boyfriend.) It just feels so real, and I don’t find the real world that cringe-worthy. Just laughable.

As sentimental as this trailer makes the show out to be, the affection the titular girls hold for each other gets you to feel like one of them; they’re so endearing, and once finishing the first three episodes I was disappointed that I’ll have to wait three more weeks than anyone else to start seeing new ones again. The conflicts that’ll carry the season were really beginning to brew, and they didn’t feel vapid like Sex and the City’s concerns were. Even as bratty as Hannah gets, she’s so hard on herself that you can’t help but care about her problems. Girls is a sudden burst of sweetness, breaking through the world-crumbling tension of young-adulthood, and with its cinematic nature, it feels like it could be the first emo-comedy.

(yeah i just coined a term bruh)

“First Date Jitters” by Five Second Films

Rookie mistake. You should only admit to something like that with an arm around her shoulders so you can move in for the kiss immediately after.

swagandpassion:

saucy-sarah:

Lil B at NYU.

I can’t.

Omg.

lmao

Reblogging for FM Chubs.

Ha, did you see what I wrote about it? I read the whole transcript yesterday too.

Trailer for The FP (NSFW)

Only one man can stop another dude from ruling something via Dance Dance Revolution and then a guy dies and look someone’s holding some boobs and why are all these people turning “nigga” into an acronym.

Coming March 25th to a limited release maybe near yo— wait, this already came out? And it made only $30,000 back from its million dollar budget? And it’s part of a burgeoning new film subgenre (“Awfulcore,” or “Fashionably Bad”) in which the movies are designed to be made fun of?

I truly can’t decide if I love this or hate this. I would hate it because it’s impossible to manufacture camp, and so there’s some automatic revulsion at the idea. I love it because A MOVIE THAT WANTS ME TO TALK DURING IT!!!

“Diplo - Bird Is The Word (Unofficial Music Video)”

well this doesn’t manage quite the unstoppable cinematography of “Express Yourself’s” unceasing Ass-jellos, but it highlights some motherfucking juke that feels like trance with the hard edge of, idk, favela music and some electro and some hiphop ghettoblasts

I’m sure that I will like this when I get to watch it, but apparently the Gallatin computer labs have muted all the computers, even with headphones plugged in.

So here’s Kimbra performing “Settle Down” at SXSW, and according to the description I read, she uses a lot of loops and other audio trickery. I imagine it’s cool.

Okay I am God now

I am become legs, destroyer of worlds